Ouch! Painful? Or RTFM?!

Hi,

I wanted to talk to the master mechanic at my VAG dealership today about my research regarding deactivating the EGR system. In front of me in line was a young man (no older than 25 – this is not meant as an insult) who was complaining about his brand new TDI with 110 kW! The problem was a constantly blinking light on the dashboard. The yellow warning triangle would always light up whenever the car made strange noises . The two service masters looked at him as if he were from Mars. Unfortunately, I couldn't stop myself from laughing, so I had to quickly leave the room or else I would have laughed at the young man. All I heard after that was one of the mechanics trying to explain to the young man that he should try to control his heavy right foot .

There are some things... / You wouldn't believe what's happening...

For those who are not familiar with the Volkswagen Golf: The yellow symbol, which is a warning triangle with an arrow around it, represents the ASR/ESP function. If this light is flashing, then the ASR or ESP system is active!

"RTFM" comes from computer hotlines and means: Read the f+cking manual.

Bertil wrote:

The problem would be a constantly blinking light in the speedometer. The yellow warning triangle light would always illuminate whenever the car made strange noises .

Hi Bertil.

Apparently, this is one of those so-called "digital drivers" – they only know full throttle and full brakes, then the ABS kicks in.

We should be happy about them, because with their correspondingly high fuel consumption, they contribute to securing the revenue from mineral oil taxes, which means that the tax rate per liter is not already much higher .

ulf wrote:

... Apparently, this is one of those so-called "digital drivers" – they only know full throttle and full brakes, then the ABS kicks in.

Hi Ulf,

When accelerating fully, the brakes also engage and cause a terrible shudder. If the wheel slip is different on the right and left sides, the ASR (Anti-Slip Regulation) brakes the spinning wheel, which allows the other wheel to receive more power. VW calls this an Electronic Locking Differential (ESD).
The traction control is really bad! It only kicks in so late that I don't believe this kid has ever been in this situation before.

Quote:

We should be happy about them, because with their correspondingly high fuel consumption, they contribute to securing the revenue from mineral oil taxes, which means that the tax rate per liter is not already much higher

.

... I hadn't even thought of that yet. So, long live those with a heavy foot on the gas!!!

Bertil wrote:

. . . When accelerating fully, the brakes also engage and cause a terrible shudder. If the wheel slip is different on the right and left sides, the ASR (Anti-Slip Regulation) brakes the spinning wheel, which allows the other wheel to receive more power. VW calls this an ESD (Electronic Locking Differential). The traction control is really bad! It only kicks in so late that I don't believe this kid has ever been in this situation before.

Hi!

Unser (gechippter) A4 PD hat nun kein ESD sondern ASR (Anti-Schlupf-Regelung). Bei flotter Fahrweise und kurviger Landstraße blinkt die ASR-Leuchte noch im 3. Gang, bei schlüpfriger Straße sogar im 4. GaSure, here's the translation:

"ng!!"

Best regards,
Uwe

Uwe wrote:

... Unser (gechippter) A4 PD hat nun kein ESD sondern ASR (Anti-Schlupf-Regelung). Bei flotter Fahrweise und kurviger Landstraße blinkt die ASR-Leuchte noch im 3. Gang, bei schlüpfriger Straße sogar im 4. GaSure, here's the translation: "ng!!" ...

Unfortunately, I can't say exactly what equipment the A4 has, but the G4 comes standard with ESP, ABS, ESD, and ASR from the model year 2002 onwards.
I also managed to get the ESP working, and while it's active, the ASR/ESP light flashes rapidly. By the way, having the electronic stability control (ESC) connected to the trailer is a great feature; you can accelerate more aggressively when turning because the inner wheel brakes smoothly. However, the noises aren't that great.

My 1989 Corrado also has ESD. I think that was quite new back then.

arne

'RTFM' comes from computer hotlines and means: Read the f+cking manual.


Okay... but which of those types of vehicles should have the rear fog light removed?

'Could you please take a look? There's a yellow light illuminated on the dashboard.' http://www.plauder-smilies.de/couto.gif

Sure, here is the translation of the text from German to English:

'Cu Gremlin'

Hey Gremlin!

You're quite cheeky! Something similar happened to me a long time ago with a rental car. I wasn't bothered by it (being a rental car), but I also didn't figure out the solution to that puzzle.

Best regards, clueless Uwe.

What do you think?

However, I can require that people are familiar with their own car.

the hit:
Customer arrives for inspection with an Opel Rekord 2.2.
'By the way, could you take a look at that? There's a red light flickering on the dashboard.'
red alert '... yes, I will do it.'
'I managed to extract 0.25 liters of oil from the old 2.2-liter cast iron engine block.'

or:

In the middle of the night. A poor housewife is standing in front of her Corsa, and nothing is working...
Well... it involves exciting the molecule using an external ion source. But what is it?
The light switch creaks and emits strange odors.
'Her light switch is obviously broken.'
'Yes, it's been making those strange noises for about a half year, and sometimes it smells funny. But with a little shaking, it usually works.'
red alarm .... 'well, they probably shouldn't park their car near houses, due to the fire hazard. Hopefully, the battery won't be strong enough to vaporize the cables and ignite the car.'
Please provide the text you would like me to translate from German to English. I will then give you only the translation, without any explanations.
After some MacGyver-esque tinkering with the plastic debris, the box was functional again, and the light turned off by pulling a fuse.


Perhaps an initial IQ test should be implemented before taking the driving test.

CU Gremlin.